The One Show

The One Show studio in its prime... when nobody is there.

I hate The One Show; it really gets on my pissing nerves. The worst thing about it is it patronises the audience and to such an extent that watching it is similar to an old, smelly woman squeezing your cheek and shouting ‘who’s a big boy, who’s a big boy’ whilst force feeding you Murray mints through a funnel. The presenters are the worst for this, their sickly sweet demeanour and seeming interest in the most mundane of subjects that range from tidal patterns to 16^th century masonry just does not draw me in whatsoever. Basically, to me the One Show is a local historical society that just got out of hand, even when they bring guests on they pass over the interview about how things are going with them to ask their opinion on why graveyards are an ideal place to baste a turkey. Perhaps I am not the target audience for a show such as this but the only people who I think could possibly enjoy The One Show are the geriatric and those who think there isn’t enough information out there about the modern process of making copper piping.

Maybe I am being a little harsh on The One Show but then again the pun in the title alone makes me groan every time I skim through the channels and end up violently and repeatedly banging my head against a wall when I come across Dave and the same bloody episode of Top Gear they have been looping for the past five years. By this point I usually realise I have the internet so I log on and make my way to BBC iplayer to see what delights it has in store, but when it finally loads I am to find highlights of the Shropshire Cheese Festival, Eastenders and the last twenty episodes of the fucking One Show. Oh well.